Bisila Bokoko knows firsthand the free-fall sensation fear can provoke. She has felt it in her body and seen it reflected in the eyes of those attending her leadership talks. What once paralyzed her has now become a guiding compass. “Fear is like a fire that devours everything: your thoughts, your plans, and even your faith in yourself,” she writes in her book Fear and Me (Plataforma Editorial).
Her approach is bold: stop fighting fear and start listening to it. “When fear knocks at your door, don’t run. Listen. It shows you that change, however uncomfortable, is always a step forward. Fear is not here to stop you; it’s here to propel you.”
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The turning point came when her world collapsed—losing her job and ending her marriage at the same time. “The day I was fired, I felt as if I had fallen from the top of the Empire State Building,” she recalls. Those nights were filled with insomnia, doubts, and endless questions. Yet, from that void came a powerful realization: fear is pure energy. “Like fire, it can consume you if left unchecked—or it can transform you if you learn to direct its heat.”
Raised between Spain and New York, Bokoko has built an international career as an entrepreneur, mentor, and speaker. But her story is not one of easy success; it’s about rebuilding herself each time the ground disappeared beneath her feet. “Losing everything taught me that when fear paralyzes you, the worst thing isn’t falling—it’s not daring to get back up.”
Fear as Teacher and Fuel
Inspired by Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic, Bokoko practices a revealing exercise: writing a letter to her fear. Not to eliminate it, but to put it in its place. “You are welcome to accompany me,” she wrote, “but don’t forget that I’m the captain of my ship.” Since then, fear has stopped being her adversary and become her co-pilot.
“The real challenge,” she explains, “is not the presence of fear but what you do with that energy. Do you let it stop you, or do you use it to take off?” This mindset has guided every leap—launching her agency in New York, founding women’s leadership projects in Africa, and speaking to audiences where vulnerability turns into shared strength. “Whenever fear tightens around my chest, I remind myself: this is not an obstacle, it’s fuel.”
Bokoko describes fear as a nighttime highway: dark, winding, full of signals urging you to slow down. But if you keep moving, it ultimately leads to your best self. “Fear always signals the beginning of a transformation. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s the price of growth.”
The Fire That Transforms
Beyond psychology, Bokoko explores fear’s spiritual dimension. Before a critical conference, she realized her fear could be surrendered to something greater. “I felt the strength of all the women in my lineage, those who faced their fears when they didn’t even have a voice.” Since then, she walks guided by this ancestral energy—a mix of faith, intuition, and vital force—sustaining her whenever doubt returns.
This connection to her African roots allows her to reinterpret fear as a call from the soul. “Fear not only protects you; it connects you to something deeper. Sometimes it’s the voice of your ancestors reminding you of your strength.”
On stage, Bokoko doesn’t present herself as fearless, but as someone who has made fear her ally. “Fear travels with me. The difference is that I no longer let it drive.” For her, courage is not eradicating fear, but moving forward with it as co-pilot.
Through the Bisila Bokoko African Literacy Project, she promotes reading across Africa and builds libraries as bridges to freedom. She also develops women’s leadership and entrepreneurship programs, convinced that the fear of failure is the first barrier women must overcome. “We are taught not to make mistakes, but true bravery is doing it anyway—even trembling.”
“Fear is life in its purest form. It signals that you are about to cross a boundary,” she says. Like a caterpillar embracing the darkness of its cocoon before flying, Bokoko invites us to view fear with curiosity and respect. “It’s not there to stop you; it’s there to push you.”
In the end, fear is not courage’s enemy but its most faithful companion. It announces that something inside you is ready to change. And in that leap into the unknown—without guarantees but with purpose—true freedom begins. “When you feel fear,” she concludes, “remember that that inner tremor is not a warning of danger—it’s the roar of your own transformation.”
